When a Lack of Boundaries Creates Walls
First, let me say sorry, oh great blogosphere. I have failed miserably in my recommitment to you. No excuses this time, but it was so bad that I had to look up my password for this thing. Now that’s some brutal honesty. It’s painful, really.
Anyway, I was motivated to post today because I’ve had enough. I think it’s safe to say that most people are pretty over the election. 
I think it’s clear that we are more than saturated with political debates, mudslinging, commercials, and satire. We all wish we could wake up tomorrow and it would be Nov. 4. The problem for me is not that it’s dragging, but rather that the messages are coming from all directions and in increasing quantities. And I’m not okay with it.
I don’t consider myself a private person. In fact, I think I’m a pretty open book. But when it comes to politics, I draw a line. I’m not sure why … but maybe it’s a learned behavior. When I used to go to the polls with my Dad after school, I’d wait patiently in the car with my brother (no doubt while he tortured me in some way). But as soon as my Dad returned, proudly displaying his “I Voted” sticker on his Izod sweater, I’d start shouting, “Who’d you vote for? Who’d you vote for?” And each time he would respond, “Voting is a very private matter, Kelly. As you get older, you’ll learn that it isn’t something you want to be asked about.”
Now, it seems like everyone has an opinion. And everyone is more than willing to share it. For example, I read a blog regularly that I really enjoy. But lately, it’s been salted with attacks on a certain candidate and those that support him. (Let me go ahead and say that I’m not willing to disclose my political affiliation or views on the presidential candidates.) But I don’t read this blog to get political commentary. And I’m not interested in hearing one-sided outbursts about either candidate. I just wonder … what happened to the notion of my Dad’s generation that these things are personal? What happened to only saying something if you had something nice to say? And where did the idea go that you should keep your opinions to yourself unless asked?
I feel like I’m constantly surrounded by the rhetoric. Friends are tweeting about it. Other blogs I read that never mention politics are weighing in. I hear celebrities’ opinions through a multitude of media. And businesses are even putting up signs to show their support in one direction or another.
I understand that this is what’s going on in our nation right now and that people are going to talk about it. I understand that the internet and social media have broken down boundaries of communication. But I don’t understand why people feel the need to inject their opinions where they weren’t solicited, especially when they include so much animosity and anger. To me, politics is such a polarizing thing. And it’s so easy to disagree with someone, or even offend them. I’d much rather get information from reputable sources and discuss my thoughts and questions only amongst my closest family and friends. Because honestly, isn’t it my own personal decision based on my own set of values, beliefs and life experiences?
With the lack of boundaries on this topic, I feel like I’m having to erect walls. It makes me want to discontinue RSS feeds and relationships that I once cherished because, quite simply, I don’t want to know the depths of an acquaintance, author, business or actor’s political views. It seems like so many political messages are misplaced and I’m finding them where I least expect them. It really turns me off.
Am I the only one who feels this way? Does the introduction of politics into a conversation or setting make anyone else clam up?
Tags: mccain, obama, political opinion, politics, voting
October 21st, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Hi Kelly!
Let me guess. That crotchety foul-mouthed blogger was ME!!! In my defense, I’d like to take the opportunity to respond.
For starters. You’ve had enough? Boy do I hear you. Me too! I’m sick of it. So sick in fact, that I’m actually having ‘outbursts’ about it on my blog for the first time ever. I’m usually the one with my arms crossed sitting back in my chair and listening to all the noise. Not getting stirred in any direction, not really grasping the full extent of everyones conviction.
Not wanting to get involved, and fearing that if I did - I might be eaten alive if god forbid I didn’t have all my facts right. My sources cross-referenced. I just as well stay out of it.
I certainly wouldn’t visit my own blog for political commentary, so neither should you! I’m sorry it has rubbed you wrong. But I’m fed up too. This election is a really big deal. Thats why you feel the energy you do.
Because the result is SO IMPORTANT.
Here is the thing. I don’t believe that John McCain would make a good president. I don’t think he is the best candidate. And after the last debate, I am actually fearful of the outcome. For all the explosive reasons I articulated in my very angry post. His attitude and demeanor is completely offensive to me.
I’m pretty sure the very definition of Blog = Unsolicited Opinions. It has been the nature of all my writing for the last 4 years. And with the exception of my use of ‘colorful language’ - you are doing no different in this post - by expressing your own opinion. You have to concede, that just as you did not ask for mine - I did not ask for yours.
The beauty of all those unsolicited opinions we call ‘Blogs’ - is that there are thousands of them to CHOOSE from. For every one that turns you off there are 5 others offering an opinion more consistent with your own beliefs/values. I leave the ‘debating’ up to the pros - but the other night, I was pissed.
I think in the blogging sense, at the least for me - it doesn’t feel ‘personal’ or unsolicited until its put in my face. Otherwise, I just keep moving along if I don’t like what I see. I would encourage you to do the same - otherwise you will drive yourself crazy.
*Politics aside. I SINCERELY HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL.
Regards,
Stella.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Hey Stella! Thanks so much for the response. If you can believe it, it honestly wasn’t you. But you did cross my mind, as well as a big handful of others. And you’re absolutely right. Blogs are pretty much a black hole of unsolicited opinions. As well as a way to stir up some conversation. And my opinion is just as unsolicited as anyone else’s. My post is more about seeing messages in places where they wouldn’t normally “belong” and being caught off guard by that. In a way, that makes them feel a bit thrown at you. I only bring up blogs that typically have nothing to do with politics as one example because of my interest in social media. Perhaps what I’m really trying to get at is whether people are expressing their opinion in order to influence others? If so, is it working? Or is it more about venting, like mine is?
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
No Dear, you are not the only one who feels this way. I’ve just about had enough of this particular election. It’s more interesting to read the world’s perspective on our election process . This comment in particular gave me pause for thought … if this is the best we can do, why would other countries want emulate our democratic process. That doesn’t make me feel good but then again … is this the BEST? Is this the VERY BEST we have to offer?
I don’t feel compelled to share my opinion on the candidates. I weigh. I measure. I make a choice. I’m not interested in who a celebrity thinks is the better qualified candidate because I don’t know why “celebrity” qualifies anyone to decide which candidate is better. Their opinion is no more valuable than a Democrat-slanted paper or Republican-slanted news show. I just want straight facts and it doesn’t seem that those are readily available. You have to SEARCH for unbiased news. What?
People stop by my desk to discuss one candidate or another. I wonder why my silence isn’t clue enough that I’m not interested in having a debate about qualifications, healthcare, the state of the economy, or war. It’s not that I don’t care; it’s that I share my opinion with my closest friends and family and that’s enough debate.
This is the most passionately divided I’ve ever seen in an election process. Let’s hope we can retain the “passion” for the process and lose the “division” of our people. Cheers to a faster moving hours until 11/4 … and a cease fire on the bombardment of political ads for 3.5 more years
October 23rd, 2008 at 10:21 am
Excellent points, Lisa. Thanks for sharing.
November 4th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Kelly … as an old friend but new visitor to your blog, I couldn’t agree more about how offensive the debate has become, how loud and in your face it is and how it has crept into every crevice of our lives. You’ll remember well we worked with a colleague to whom it was everything and more than once it created barriers. Your Dad was a wise man. You may enjoy my post on our blog Taking Aim (http://thestrategicfirm.wordpress.com/) where I question the use of one hour of prime time programming as a blatant commercial. The best news lies ahead … dwindling election news.
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